As a couple, you may have occasionally dealt with conflicts in your marriage.
That’s healthy as long as you handle them with love. Nevertheless, there may be severe consequences if your marriage suffers from constant conflicts.
Such consequences may include sexual abuse, fights, murder, and destruction of properties among others. Also, your health may deteriorate and you may either have to cope with health issues or disability. You don’t want this to happen?
Okay.
Learn how to solve constant conflicts effectively. How? Communicate with each other, deal with one issue at a time, never judge without listening, and avoid threats. Plus, give a gift. Also, when he is too aggressive, it’s time for you to cool down.
Carefully, let’s have each of these points under a microscope.
Communicate
This is the first point in the list because it is also the first thing in the journey of solving conflicts. And no, I did not say speak it out. Why? You may speak it out, but your partner may not be willing to open up or even talk about it.
That is why I said you should communicate. You see, communication is two way.
That means; you are having a dialogue with your spouse. It is not about you talking all the time. No, you also need to listen to your spouse whenever they want to air something.
Let each person get an equal chance to speak as you listen to each other. That way, you will know the cause of the conflicts, thus get an effective solution for the same. Suzanne Degges of Psychology Today gives ten steps that are effective for communication between couples.
This is the first and most powerful way to solve conflicts in your marriage.
If It Gets Too High, Go Down
People are different and just as they are different; the measure at which they get angry differs. Also, how they react when they are angry matters a lot. Let me explain.
Some people are more aggressive than others, and they can do anything when they get aggressive including killing or injuring those around them.
What you need to know is that when your partner is very aggressive; emotions are the actual determinant of what he will do next. At times, he doesn’t know what he is doing. It is anger at work!
Once he comes back to his senses, he will start regretting. Meaning, he would not have wanted to do the damage he did.
In fact, that is why most people kill their spouses then commits suicide. Why? After doing harm, everything becomes a reality. That is why; it is crucial for you to go down when he gets too high.
You can also choose to walk away from him and come back once he has cooled down.
It is not only good to solve the conflicts in your marriage at this time, but also safe for both of you.
Deal With One Issue At A Time
Failing to deal with one problem at a time in your marriage will lead to constant conflicts in your marriage. Eventually, your marriage may suffer divorce.
To avoid this, you need to solve each problem as soon as it arises. However, in case your partner has not been willing to talk about it, and at the end of it all there are so many issues to tackle, the best thing is to address one issue at a time.
Let me give you a secret. Where you are tackling so many issues, start with the problems you know you are the cause. Say how you have felt miserable since then and how apologetic you feel about it.
Assure your partner that you are now willing to change for the betterment of your marriage.
Do you know why it is crucial to start it this way?
Related post: 5 Signs That He Has No More Interest in You
Because naturally, people want to hear others apologizing to them even when they know they are in the wrong. That means, your partner will be willing to listen to you, and eventually will also apologize for what he have done.
In the long last, you will solve all the constant conflicts in your marriage successfully.
Don’t Be Judgmental, Inquire And Pay Attention
Nothing pains a person like somebody else judging you without legal ground. Now listen, I will tell you something.
Not everyone is happy that you are married, and their happiness is to see you have conflicts in your marriage so that you separate or file for a divorce. At times, those are people who are so close to you.
They will go telling people things about you or your partner, and people will believe them because they are close to you. You may not know it soon, but at one point; that information will still reach you.
Here’s what I’m trying to say…
When such news reaches your ears, as a human being, you may get furious and want to take revenge.
Well, that is not the wise way of doing it. See, people have been thrown to jail for more than ten years for something they know nothing about?
The same case here, somebody could have created a story from nowhere just to cause conflicts in your marriage.
So, before you can judge, inquire from your partner if what you are hearing is true, be patient, and pay attention to what they say.
Avoid Threats When Solving Conflicts In Your Marriage
The worst you could do to yourself, and your marriage is to threaten each other. Threatening your spouse cannot solve conflicts in your marriage.
If anything, it will only make things horrible. Take it this way, you have been having constant disputes with your spouse. Every time he is speaking, he says he will kill you, or he will throw you out of the house, or maybe will marry another woman.
Do you think you can have peace in that marriage? Absolutely not. In fact, each time you see your spouse, what lingers in your mind is the constant threats, right?
The results?
The one receiving the threats begins to feel insecure and anxious. If you want to deal with constant conflicts in your marriage effectively, never threaten your spouse.
Just tell them you are not happy about what they are doing and request them to change.
Remember to give them time to change.
Seal It Up With A Gift
How did you feel on that engagement day when he knelt before you asking for your hand in marriage? What about the valentine gift he gave you?
Well, even though he bought you some flowers which, of course, withered a couple of days later, you felt like the whole world was yours, right?
Why?
Gifts make people feel loved, honored, treasured and valued. They heal the wounds that have been there for days, months and years.
Gifts are a better way of saying, “Forgive me for the days I have hurt you. I renew my love for you today!”
Since you are married, you already know what your spouse loves and treasures most. Can you afford it? Great, if you can.
Buy that gift, wrap it, and surprise him.
This will not only solve the constant conflicts in your marriage but also renew your love.
It Is Up To You
There are no two types of marriages! It is the couples that make marriages different. How you deal with conflicts in your marriage makes it sweet or bitter!
You only need to know how to solve any arising conflicts in your marriage and apply the various secrets to a happy marriage. Believe you me, yours will be a marriage that everyone desire to have if you follow these tips.
It is possible.